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The dangerous move…

2 Feb

“Sometimes, even the smallest little spark of a chemistry, the tiniest flicker of attraction not just physically but deep-down emotionally, is exciting. Comforting even. Feeling that way again is like seeing light in pitch black darkness, until you grasp how troubling it really is. It’s yet another confirmation that you aren’t in love with who you say you are, despite the countless hours trying to convince yourself and others. In the moment, it’s a way out. A person that seems so so amazing at first glance, so amazing that there can’t be anything wrong with him, seems like a perfect escape. You just fell in love with someone else—it could happen to anyone. But afterwards, you know what happened had nothing to do with love. You just chose to see what you wanted to see in a desperate attempt to get out of your trap, ultimately pushing yourself farther into it. This is a sign that something is very, very wrong with you. And it scares you to death.”

Too often we attempt to move on by shifting our feelings onto another person, transferring our emotional baggage into a new basket with the hope that it’ll hold. The problem with this approach is that we essentially leave a long, broken trail of loose ends, scattered unforgivingly behind us. Love is non-transferable, non-refundable, and unavoidable; you must walk through it, not around it…

“To move on from an experience we subconsciously require an ending point, a marker, some form of memorialization. And for a feeling to be memorialized, we must first give it a chance to live, breathe and be appreciated for what it truly is. After all, something cannot die without first being alive. So don’t repress it, don’t hold it down, don’t dismiss your love as a triviality of youth. Forego any feelings of resentment or floundering self-worth, for it pays you — and your heart — no service.”

Give yourself time to heal – jumping into another relationship with the hope that the other person will be your healer is the biggest mistake you can ever do.


Ode to You Star of my Life…

23 May

There was something which triggered me to come to see you at the hospital on that day, when I left work early.

I felt a strong need to come to see you.

The memories of you lying in the bed, with your eyes closed and you having problems breathing are still so fresh in my mind… And it pains the same each time I think about you.

It hurts when I think that it was the last time I got to see you; I wish I could see more of you.

I felt so helpless; there was nothing which I could do to help you get out of this pain.

I prayed for you whole night on that day, and I heard that you left us hours later.

You left without even giving me time to say a proper goodbye.

This morning I dreamt about you hugging me tight… How I wish I could hold you this way forever!

Why do I still feel that you had things to tell me?

Why do I still hold that feeling of something incomplete in my heart?

But you are now up, somewhere near God, in your rightful place…

But My heart still cries for you… A million times, I’ll need you

You were more like a dad to me, you were my friend, my guidance, my source of light, my happiness and I’m so proud of you for who you have been in life.

I know that you loved me more than words could describe.

It broke my heart to lose you

Things will never be the same

And although it hurts so bad

I will smile whenever I hear your name

I love you so much

Infinity and Beyond


I’m now but… a distant memory!

7 Mar

The feeling of bumping into an old friend, who was particularly close or an ex is somewhat specific, especially when they have been long forgotten. It makes you remember the days when you were walking through a tunnel whose end you couldn’t see, whose walls felt as cold as they were strangely comforting. The days when you woke up with absurdly inflated hopes of finding something you love or achieving great things. The days when you pretended that everything was wonderful just for the benefit of everyone who thought that you should be over it by now.

People told you, always with the best intentions, that one day you were going to wake up and realize that you were okay, and your life was not immediately over because they were no longer a part of it. And this is true, though it’s not the net positive that we are so quick to label it as. Because it’s not as though you simply wake up one day and proclaim yourself fine, suddenly hearing birds chirp and children laugh after months of only your own oppressive silence. You simply start to forget, feeling the acute pain of the loss less and less as each day goes on. There will come a day when you don’t care, but you won’t notice it, because you will have other things to think about.

How we let people go!

But in order to let that pain go, in order to remove this person from the place of power they have occupied for so long, you must let everything go. Perhaps in a very distant future, you will be able to pick and choose the memories you want to keep, but for a very long time, one memory will always bleed into another.

Of course, you never really forget anyone, but you certainly release them.

You stop caring about that person, lose your focus on them, get into your own usual routine and you say to yourself  “I’m so over you, now!”. It takes time, a whole lot of time… But eventually, you feel the breeze over you, you start watching the moon and stars without thinking about them, the birds start chirping back. And when you finally bump into that person again, you know right on the spot, that things have changed. What they have been up to have absolutely no meaning for you! You realize that there is no reason to be sad.

The person you knew still exists, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again.

You bump into them, you meet them, you tell each other we should get coffee sometime, but never exchange new numbers

…because you know you are not going to see each other again.


Love me today, I’ll be gone tomorrow..

11 Feb

Best thing in life

Abortion and rape!

7 Jun

Before reading this post, bear this in mind; I’m not an extremist, I’m no super religious and I’m fully conscious of a woman’s civil right whether to give birth to a child or not. I’m just striving to find some sense behind all those arguments being put forward by the authorities to legalise abortion.

I was inspired by Aniisah’s post to write on abortion. Everyone has their own opinion on abortion. Some people contend that abortion is a right that should not be limited by governmental or religious authority and is the solution for rapes committed on women. They argue that pregnant women will resort to unsafe illegal abortions if there is no legal option. Others are against abortion featuring it as an immoral act and against some religious belief.

If in cases of danger to the pregnant woman or the child suffering from severe malformation, an abortion, in my opinion, is justified.

Now concerning rapes, I’d say: Damn the authority for not thinking about the other side of the story. If ‘killing‘ is being legalised as such, why not kill the ones who deserve it? Why not kill the rapists, why not kill those who commit immoral or incestuous acts? Why kill that little innocent life? 

By killing the unborn child, what is being achieved? Will the number of rapes decrease? Will abortion decrease the immoral acts committed by people? The answer is IT WON’T! Yes, maybe it will relieve the burden that some women have to carry. But will it relieve the burden of having been raped? If the authority is taking such a step, why not take the step to get rid of the root causes of the need for abortions? THE RAPISTS!

Yes, legalise abortion as a remedial action for anything bad which has been committed to a woman. BUT, legalise capital punishment or any other sort of very severe punishment, for those who commit such an act – to eliminate the source of the problem itself.  Being sentenced for some years for having committed a rape and enjoying a 3 star treatment in the cells is the result of a rape in Mauritius – I wonder if this compensates for killing an unborn child.

There are many things which I think should be considered before really legalising abortion:

–  Firstly, I believe that since conception does not occur immediately following intercourse, pregnancy can be eliminated in all rape cases if the rape victim receives immediate medical treatment by having all the male semen removed from her uterus;

–  Arguments about the raped women undergoing mental stresses. Abortion brings a trauma of its own – I believe that homicide of another is never justified to relieve one of emotional distress;

–  A child does not lose its right to life simply because its father or its mother was a sexual criminal or a deviant;

–  Professor Stephen Krason points out that…

“psychological studies have shown that, when given the proper support, most pregnant rape victims progressively change their attitudes about their unborn child from something repulsive to someone who is innocent and uniquely worthwhile.”

– If a woman doesn’t want the child, she always has the option to giving the baby for adoption;

– Legalising abortion will not eliminate the root causes of the problem in rape cases;

– Abortion for me is like justifying an immoral act (in cases of rapes)

Ultimately, I believe it remains the woman’s choice to decide whether or not to give birth to the child. It is her civil right – leave the right to the women to decide. The unwanted pregnancy flows biologically from the sexual act, but not morally from it.

“My biological father is a rapist. But I am still a human being and I still have value. My life isn’t worth any less than yours because of the way I was conceived. And I did not deserve the death penalty because of the crime of my father.” (Pam Stenzel, Straight talk from Pam Stenzel (1998) Vision Video Inc. PO Box 540, Worcester, Pennsylvania, 19490, USA)

I’m for legalising abortion for a pregnant ‘CHILD’ after a rape, but this law should be complemented with other severe law for eliminating the root cause, for eliminating the rapist – and I’d suggest capital punishment for rapists!

Beautiful winter walks on our doorstep!

8 May

Firmly entrenched in May, we are well on our way through winter in paradise island. The first weeks and months of 2012 came quietly and softly. I really love winter, despite the fact that it gets dark earlier and it rains most of the time. I particularly like bundling up on a cold weekend morning and heading for a walk, each breath billowing up like a cloud. This winter particularly reminds me of my last year’s trip to Europe – London, Brussels and Paris! It was one of the best ever in my lifetime till now. Nostalgia hits me so much that I went through all the photos on my hard disk. Oh yes, it’s one of those days!!

A road trip to District Lake at the best time of the year with awesome people IS the perfect moment of anyone’s life! It’s magical – just like the first step in Disneyland

…but well much better!

Happy Winter and… Hail to Nostalgia!


9 Oct

Bonding to a cat is absolutely great. It’s like playing with a cheerful kid; you get down to her level by acting childish and funny. When getting a cat, you must find a name, a name thats particular, peculiar and more dignified as Eliot said. My cat is named Pichounette – The air of mystery he carries is one of the reasons I love him so much, apart from the fact that he is so huggable. Pichounette has never changed to suit anyone’s desires. He plays by his own rules, and I love and admire him for his independence of spirit.

This post is for Pichounette. It’s been four weeks since he hasn’t returned home – maybe he is now gone for good; but I so wish he would return home and I will get to hug him. He has been part of my everyday life, and its difficult to do without him now.

I miss Pichounette; I miss the snuggles on the couch while watching TV, the silly games with a string toy or laser pointer, the sharing of a joke or a secret or even a little bit of my dinner, the purr-ing sound when I caressed him, I miss his meows, I miss his innocent looks, I miss the walks around the house with you, I miss calling ‘Pichounette’. Now you’ll come no longer to my call. Cats teach us, heal us, make us laugh, and break our hearts with their passing… 😦

Oh little one, I miss you so,
… Much more than words can say.