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The dangerous move…

2 Feb

“Sometimes, even the smallest little spark of a chemistry, the tiniest flicker of attraction not just physically but deep-down emotionally, is exciting. Comforting even. Feeling that way again is like seeing light in pitch black darkness, until you grasp how troubling it really is. It’s yet another confirmation that you aren’t in love with who you say you are, despite the countless hours trying to convince yourself and others. In the moment, it’s a way out. A person that seems so so amazing at first glance, so amazing that there can’t be anything wrong with him, seems like a perfect escape. You just fell in love with someone else—it could happen to anyone. But afterwards, you know what happened had nothing to do with love. You just chose to see what you wanted to see in a desperate attempt to get out of your trap, ultimately pushing yourself farther into it. This is a sign that something is very, very wrong with you. And it scares you to death.”

Too often we attempt to move on by shifting our feelings onto another person, transferring our emotional baggage into a new basket with the hope that it’ll hold. The problem with this approach is that we essentially leave a long, broken trail of loose ends, scattered unforgivingly behind us. Love is non-transferable, non-refundable, and unavoidable; you must walk through it, not around it…

“To move on from an experience we subconsciously require an ending point, a marker, some form of memorialization. And for a feeling to be memorialized, we must first give it a chance to live, breathe and be appreciated for what it truly is. After all, something cannot die without first being alive. So don’t repress it, don’t hold it down, don’t dismiss your love as a triviality of youth. Forego any feelings of resentment or floundering self-worth, for it pays you — and your heart — no service.”

Give yourself time to heal – jumping into another relationship with the hope that the other person will be your healer is the biggest mistake you can ever do.

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Excuses – The Thing Which You Make BEST!

10 Nov

I’m pretty sure that many of you must have said this phrase once in your life: “I’m fed up of your constant and lame excuses”. Many of us must have made some kind of excuses to get out of an unpleasant situation or to get out of something you didn’t want to – and that without feeling any remorse.

I also did make lots of excuses in life or rationalise my actions with all kinds of excuses. But as I grew up, I realised eventually that instead of making all kinds of excuses, I should take responsibility for my actions and just face it whatever be the consequences, instead of coming up with excuses and trying to get away with it.

Unfortunately not everyone does this!

excuses

People often get ‘reasons’ and ‘excuses’ mixed up because there appears to be some crossover. Excuses allow people to remain in their uncomfortable comfort zone, dodge conflict by avoiding honesty both with others and themselves, dodge accountability, and cast themselves in a better light.

Saying “I’ve been really busy” gives the impression that you’re so busy (you know busier than a world leader) that you haven’t had the time to contact or see them whereas saying “I’m not interested / am half-hearted / have been trying to get back with my ex” will not only have you in the position of saying something that most people squirm at and possibly inviting ‘conflict’, but if you’re the type of person that likes to hedge your bets, you may want to keep them as a rainy day option. If anything you’re hoping they’ll take the hint and do your job for you and at the worst of things, you may be hoping the excuse allows you to avail of their ‘usefulness’.

Behind every excuse is the real reason.

Instead of accepting excuses, start accepting the reasons.

Why? Because not everyone will accept responsibility for their actions or inactions. Honesty and being direct may not be part of their life. The seeds of lying are planted and mature while people are in high school. When we don’t get caught up once for their excuses, this just strengthens their inclinations to lie the next time. Lies and excuses build on each other and create their own reality…a fake one!

You’ll know you’re living a healthy life when you don’t have to listen to excuses or make excuses!

Keeping the ball rolling…

17 Oct

Inspired may not be the right word…I was just browsing and came across this list of thought provoking questions.

Sometimes, questions have no right or wrong answers.  Because asking the right questions is the answer.

1. If not now, then when?

Take the chance now…and just do it!

Thought Questions 4

 

2. Are you holding onto something, that you need to let go?

As you live and experience things, you must recognize what belongs and what doesn’t, what works and what doesn’t, and then let things go when they should.  Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because not everything is supposed to fit into your life.  So close the door on the past, change the tune, clean your inner space, and get rid of the dust.  Stop being who you once were so you can become who you are today.

It’s time to open the next chapter of your life.

Thought Questions 6

3. Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

Reminiscences…When an experience in your life has emotional significance, it gets tagged in your brain as being important. Make sure they are worth the tags…

Thought Questions 7

4. Who do you love? What are you doing about it?

Thought Questions 8

5. When is it time to stop calculating Risk and Rewards, and just do what you know is right?

Thought Questions 9

 

6. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

Thought Questions 10

7. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Thought Questions 11

8. When you’re her age, what will matter most to you?

Thought Questions 12

9. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Thought Questions 15

10. When was the last time you tried something new?

Thought Questions 16

11. Which activities make you lose track of time?

Thought Questions 17

12. If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?

Thought Questions 18

13. Time or Money?

Thought Questions 22

13. Are you aware that someone has it worse than you do?

Thought Questions 23

13. What makes you smile?

Thought Questions 24

13. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?

Thought Questions 25

The Awkward moments and feelings in Life!

26 Mar
  • Seeing a bug, then losing track of it and becoming a paranoid prisoner in your own home.
  • When Facebook, Whatsapp or BBM tells on you for reading a message without responding. Thanks for blowing covers, exposing occasional ignorers/cheaters, and ruining acquaintanceships (does this word even exist?) across the globe with your snitching.
  • Turning my blackberry on takes FOREVER! I would wait patiently, watching the loading bar slowly increase, and once it got good and fully turned on, it has a security check! What did you need to check, we just spent 10 minutes getting you ready, aren’t you ready?!
  • Catching people standing behind you, staring at your screen. It doesn’t matter if you’re texting or surfing the web for completely normal, appropriate content, there’s something irritating about a person attentively watching your personal text messages be written, or keeping tabs on your web habits. I’m always tempted to open a word document and, in size 100 Times New Roman, write: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT WEIRDO?
  • Funny situation
  • When Courts Sales commercial or the Gangnam style clip come on. PLEASE STOP. They should be flagged as inappropriate content!
  • If a person stares at you for longer than five seconds. Only in films are lingering gazes so acceptable, and that’s probably because they’ve got the help of some sort of musical score playing in the background. Stares are uncomfortable for the most part. One second is basic eye contact. Two seconds are a lengthier glance. Three are potential flirtation. Four are like, okay, what’s your deal? Do you think I’m captivatingly attractive or fascinatingly hideous? And five are a flat out violation. What is it that you’re trying to process about my face that’s taken 1/12th of a minute?
  • Thinking that you’ve found a parking space, but as you turn in you discover that a motorcycle, or some other vehicle the size of a cat has already occupied the spot.
  • When a sneeze refuses to come out, causing you to look like a fool with a scrunched up face.
  • Trying to hold your laugh when somebody says “CatamarON” instead of catamaran and keeps on using the word over and over, in each and every single phrase that comes out of their mouth. It happened like hundred times since people got acquainted to that new thing, called catamaran!
  • Eating at a table with a bunch of people you don’t even know.
  • Waiting to hear from somebody specific and being bombarded by texts & calls from everyone who isn’t that person.
  • ATM Fees – Being required to pay money before you can access and retrieve your own money is a bogus concept. I’m considering of getting a stock of everything piled up because buying a pack of gum and getting cash back feels significantly less unfair than paying my money to acquire my money.
  • When the week feels like: Moooooooooooooonday, Tuuuuuuuuuuueeeesday, Weeeeeeeeeeeednesday, Thuuuuuuuuuursday, FriSatSun.
  • Checking your bank account after a day of shopping.
  • Getting paid but knowing in advance that your check will be consumed by lots of stuffs.
  • Entering a parked car on a scorching hot summer day. A Roasted Me!
  • When gas prices are increasing day by day.
  • Never saving someone’s number in your phone. Get texts from them that ask “how are you?” and respond “Who’s this? New phone…” You’ll invariably get a text back that’s like “Um, hello! It’s so-and-so!” They’re offended. They know you don’t have a new phone. You just didn’t want to save their number because that would mean that they existed and mattered. (Note: I actually do this all the time. Not because I don’t like the person but because I’m the laziest human being alive. Sometimes it’s because I hate them though.)
  • Emailing the wrong attachment or sending a work email without any subject. It happened so many times to me, that I often asked myself if I need to follow a course on how to use Emails.
  • Running into acquaintances is unavoidable, but when the conversation ends, we have to make sure to pay attention to the direction they’re headed in. Go the opposite way, because saying “bye” and walking the same route makes for an awkward walk and a second, awkward-er goodbye.
  • When a couple starts fighting and you don’t know how to react and starts glancing in all angles – up, down, right, left, 180 degrees, 60 degrees, 45 degrees…
  • Singing songs you’re not extremely familiar with at a level higher than the volume it’s being played at. All it takes is one incident in which you confidently singing the wrong lyrics at the incorrect part, in a LOUD voice, for you to understand how embarrassing this can be.
  • I’ve learnt the hard way, not to ever, EVER make assumptions about a person being pregnant.
  • Showing a colleague a picture on your phone and he/she scrolling down and seeing something NSFW. Guess I should start strictly enforce the see-with-your-eyes-not-with-your-hands rule.
  • When eating bananas, avoid eye contact with people as you go in for a bite.
  • Starting to say something and then getting interrupted…not once, but twice! -.-” That’s rude, very rude! Let me say what I have to, before I…forget!
  • Having to read a lease or contract in front of someone who’s waiting for you to sign it. Do you expect me to read it all and understand it while you are looking at me? Seriously?

I’m now but… a distant memory!

7 Mar

The feeling of bumping into an old friend, who was particularly close or an ex is somewhat specific, especially when they have been long forgotten. It makes you remember the days when you were walking through a tunnel whose end you couldn’t see, whose walls felt as cold as they were strangely comforting. The days when you woke up with absurdly inflated hopes of finding something you love or achieving great things. The days when you pretended that everything was wonderful just for the benefit of everyone who thought that you should be over it by now.

People told you, always with the best intentions, that one day you were going to wake up and realize that you were okay, and your life was not immediately over because they were no longer a part of it. And this is true, though it’s not the net positive that we are so quick to label it as. Because it’s not as though you simply wake up one day and proclaim yourself fine, suddenly hearing birds chirp and children laugh after months of only your own oppressive silence. You simply start to forget, feeling the acute pain of the loss less and less as each day goes on. There will come a day when you don’t care, but you won’t notice it, because you will have other things to think about.

How we let people go!

But in order to let that pain go, in order to remove this person from the place of power they have occupied for so long, you must let everything go. Perhaps in a very distant future, you will be able to pick and choose the memories you want to keep, but for a very long time, one memory will always bleed into another.

Of course, you never really forget anyone, but you certainly release them.

You stop caring about that person, lose your focus on them, get into your own usual routine and you say to yourself  “I’m so over you, now!”. It takes time, a whole lot of time… But eventually, you feel the breeze over you, you start watching the moon and stars without thinking about them, the birds start chirping back. And when you finally bump into that person again, you know right on the spot, that things have changed. What they have been up to have absolutely no meaning for you! You realize that there is no reason to be sad.

The person you knew still exists, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again.

You bump into them, you meet them, you tell each other we should get coffee sometime, but never exchange new numbers

…because you know you are not going to see each other again.

Just Peachy…

7 Mar

“Life is all about making choices, we get to choose one among the many, and the one we choose defines our future and destiny.”

Today is MY day...!

 

Choose to be HAPPY!

 

#5. Graceful Exit

4 Feb

“There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out..”

~ Ellen Goodman