…The mind’s delusion or seeing the world through the soul?

11 Feb

There was a long pool of vehicles ahead. I’ve been stuck in the same place for the past 25 mins. I shouldn’t have taken this particular road, I said to myself. The meteorogical station has just issued a warning because of the tropical cyclone and everyone was rushing to go home.

I, however, was in no hurry to go home. This weather – cloudy and rainy – is what makes me happy. I sit back in the car; Fix You of Coldplay playing on the radio, raindrops sliding down the window pane. I could write a whole page, ten pages, on that raindrop; for me it will become the symbol of everyday life whilst avoiding everyday life; it will stand for time and space, or space within time; it will be the world and still only a vanishing raindrop.

I could see the driver in the rearview mirror, with a small child behind the wheel. He seems all frustrated – he is most probably on his way to pick up his wife from the office and was stuck with his child. In front of me, a fat man in a van, wearing a blue shirt, which used to fit him maybe some years back, smoking his cigarette and trying to figure out what’s wrong – minutes later, he got out and walked a few metres ahead.

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There was nothing on my mind at that moment; wanting to get out of the traffic seemed impossible. Both lanes were stuck. I focused my attention back to the rain – Raindrops  were blowing with the wind. They were making their way through the leaves of the trees on the corner of the road, and pooling together into endless puddles and miniature lakes on the ground.  As they were being poured upon the earth, they simply made the most of the moment. They splashed and danced and they had the ability to make a “dreary” day look alive and cheerful.

Then something happened, like in the movies when the ray of light from the sky shines down upon the main character and the choir sings in the background – except much less dramatic. A nice smile flashed and my eyes were locked to another pair of eyes with a twinkle. This made me smile – It’s amazing how a stranger out of nowhere can bring a smile without words. Soul connection, I reminded myself, beyond words, beyond time – just a beautiful feeling.

Just then the traffic started to move. I brushed aside the few strands of hair which the wind blew on my eyes and shifted gear to move ahead. Just then my phone rang. It was my friend, who was stuck in traffic too. We decided to go for a drink while waiting for this chaos of vehicles and people to subside.

Sitting in the lounge of the hotel, with a beautiful view of fading rays of sunlight, I could now relax. I closed my eyes and could feel the calmness of the moment. This feeling instantly died when we were joined by a few other people. All I could see were moving lips and gestures. Everything seemed so fake; luxuries confused as needs.  For all the technological advancements we’ve made, our ability to connect on a human level is miles away from it’s natural, primitive state. I find myself sinking into a secular mindset –  I could not fit in the moment nor in the conversation. There was something missing. I stood up and just said I would be back in a moment. Deep inside, I know I was not coming back. Settling the bill, I walk to the front of the building. The traffic has cleared and the roads and buildings were empty.

I took a cigarette from my bag and lit it after several attempts. I have never been good at lighting cigarettes. Taking the first puff inside, I leaned against the wet wall and took my high heels off after a whole day. My feet felt the cold pavement and it started to rain again. I felt the rain tickling on my face and everything feels real again!

I was free… and I just no longer fit in that world! Sometimes you connect to a stranger without uttering a word and disconnect with people you know despite the thousand words.

Note: The short stories on my blog do NOT reflect my life in any single way. The characters involved are entirely fictional and are just figments of my imagination.

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