The dangerous move…

2 Feb

“Sometimes, even the smallest little spark of a chemistry, the tiniest flicker of attraction not just physically but deep-down emotionally, is exciting. Comforting even. Feeling that way again is like seeing light in pitch black darkness, until you grasp how troubling it really is. It’s yet another confirmation that you aren’t in love with who you say you are, despite the countless hours trying to convince yourself and others. In the moment, it’s a way out. A person that seems so so amazing at first glance, so amazing that there can’t be anything wrong with him, seems like a perfect escape. You just fell in love with someone else—it could happen to anyone. But afterwards, you know what happened had nothing to do with love. You just chose to see what you wanted to see in a desperate attempt to get out of your trap, ultimately pushing yourself farther into it. This is a sign that something is very, very wrong with you. And it scares you to death.”

Too often we attempt to move on by shifting our feelings onto another person, transferring our emotional baggage into a new basket with the hope that it’ll hold. The problem with this approach is that we essentially leave a long, broken trail of loose ends, scattered unforgivingly behind us. Love is non-transferable, non-refundable, and unavoidable; you must walk through it, not around it…

“To move on from an experience we subconsciously require an ending point, a marker, some form of memorialization. And for a feeling to be memorialized, we must first give it a chance to live, breathe and be appreciated for what it truly is. After all, something cannot die without first being alive. So don’t repress it, don’t hold it down, don’t dismiss your love as a triviality of youth. Forego any feelings of resentment or floundering self-worth, for it pays you — and your heart — no service.”

Give yourself time to heal – jumping into another relationship with the hope that the other person will be your healer is the biggest mistake you can ever do.

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5 Responses to “The dangerous move…”

  1. s February 16, 2014 at 10:40 am #

    that is undoubtedly the general rule; and as in every rule, there may be genuine exceptions. dangerous move for some, necessary circumstantial move for others…

  2. tkk March 4, 2014 at 5:25 pm #

    what about a circumstantial move made after much reflection?

  3. Maliha Bhugalee March 5, 2014 at 6:51 am #

    We are solely responsible for every decision we take in life – this decision might be in contradiction with the perception of your surroundings.

    But I believe if deep inside you feel that it’s the right thing to do, there’s nothing which should stop you from taking that step 🙂

  4. tkk March 9, 2014 at 5:47 pm #

    Agree. The move could equally be frowned upon by the surroundings of the other person (i.e., the person towards whom the move is being made)…and if that other person is convinced of the sincerity of the move, there shouldn’t be anything or anyone who could stop her from accepting/reciprocating the move?

  5. Maliha Bhugalee March 9, 2014 at 7:07 pm #

    If a person is strong enough to take responsibility for his/her acts (which I think should be the case for everyone), there’s nothing or no one who can be a hindrance to the decision. So no, I don’t think someone can stop that!

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