Archive | February, 2014

…The mind’s delusion or seeing the world through the soul?

11 Feb

There was a long pool of vehicles ahead. I’ve been stuck in the same place for the past 25 mins. I shouldn’t have taken this particular road, I said to myself. The meteorogical station has just issued a warning because of the tropical cyclone and everyone was rushing to go home.

I, however, was in no hurry to go home. This weather – cloudy and rainy – is what makes me happy. I sit back in the car; Fix You of Coldplay playing on the radio, raindrops sliding down the window pane. I could write a whole page, ten pages, on that raindrop; for me it will become the symbol of everyday life whilst avoiding everyday life; it will stand for time and space, or space within time; it will be the world and still only a vanishing raindrop.

I could see the driver in the rearview mirror, with a small child behind the wheel. He seems all frustrated – he is most probably on his way to pick up his wife from the office and was stuck with his child. In front of me, a fat man in a van, wearing a blue shirt, which used to fit him maybe some years back, smoking his cigarette and trying to figure out what’s wrong – minutes later, he got out and walked a few metres ahead.

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There was nothing on my mind at that moment; wanting to get out of the traffic seemed impossible. Both lanes were stuck. I focused my attention back to the rain – Raindrops  were blowing with the wind. They were making their way through the leaves of the trees on the corner of the road, and pooling together into endless puddles and miniature lakes on the ground.  As they were being poured upon the earth, they simply made the most of the moment. They splashed and danced and they had the ability to make a “dreary” day look alive and cheerful.

Then something happened, like in the movies when the ray of light from the sky shines down upon the main character and the choir sings in the background – except much less dramatic. A nice smile flashed and my eyes were locked to another pair of eyes with a twinkle. This made me smile – It’s amazing how a stranger out of nowhere can bring a smile without words. Soul connection, I reminded myself, beyond words, beyond time – just a beautiful feeling.

Just then the traffic started to move. I brushed aside the few strands of hair which the wind blew on my eyes and shifted gear to move ahead. Just then my phone rang. It was my friend, who was stuck in traffic too. We decided to go for a drink while waiting for this chaos of vehicles and people to subside.

Sitting in the lounge of the hotel, with a beautiful view of fading rays of sunlight, I could now relax. I closed my eyes and could feel the calmness of the moment. This feeling instantly died when we were joined by a few other people. All I could see were moving lips and gestures. Everything seemed so fake; luxuries confused as needs.  For all the technological advancements we’ve made, our ability to connect on a human level is miles away from it’s natural, primitive state. I find myself sinking into a secular mindset –  I could not fit in the moment nor in the conversation. There was something missing. I stood up and just said I would be back in a moment. Deep inside, I know I was not coming back. Settling the bill, I walk to the front of the building. The traffic has cleared and the roads and buildings were empty.

I took a cigarette from my bag and lit it after several attempts. I have never been good at lighting cigarettes. Taking the first puff inside, I leaned against the wet wall and took my high heels off after a whole day. My feet felt the cold pavement and it started to rain again. I felt the rain tickling on my face and everything feels real again!

I was free… and I just no longer fit in that world! Sometimes you connect to a stranger without uttering a word and disconnect with people you know despite the thousand words.

Note: The short stories on my blog do NOT reflect my life in any single way. The characters involved are entirely fictional and are just figments of my imagination.

A Secret Affair

6 Feb

Tackling love, betrayal and trust – The movie is all about a couple who are madly and deeply in love with each other. After two months of dating together, Anton proposed to Raffy. During the preparations for their upcoming wedding, Raffy, the fiancee, was pressured with all the comments she has been hearing from everybody and all the happenings in her life. Her confusion and fears led her to leaving Anton and becoming a run-away bride.

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This is a really nice movie which depicts infidelity in relationships, which is so current nowadays. Infidelity is never a mistake, it’s just a choice which you make and you can never ever really trust that person again, even if the love is there – and as much as you want to fix the relationship, the damage has been done… and there’s really no coming back. Betrayal is like a poison. Despite all the efforts and considerations made, there will still be more misunderstandings, doubts and problems. There are some who can survive the infidelity and unfaithfulness. They are the ones who are strong enough to ignore the pain and disregard the doubts in their minds and hearts. When trust is broken, the relationship will never be the same again.

I love the ending…!

“Before I met you, I thought I had a perfect life. And you came into the picture and turned my life completely. you made me realize what true love is. You made me realize what happiness is.”

“Marriage is a sentence. A life sentence. It has to be served.”

“Betrayal, in all forms, is painful. It can make you go crazy. But we all have choices on how to deal with it. Do we just go away or stay?”

“Don’t confuse love with sex, sweetie.”

My updated things to do list!

3 Feb

This part of your fall will never come back again. Take advantage of what you have: energy, idealism, enthusiasm, a willingness to experiment, a lack of encumbrances,  a desire to learn and grow. Enjoy your 20s-30s — and you’ll be better able to appreciate the next stage. This is the list I made sometimes back and which I’ve updated last December during my vacation.

Each day should be an adventure where you do something different, learn something new and experience anything life throws at you – MB

 Life is Beautiful

1. Swim under a waterfall

2. Unplug for a whole week – switch off your phone, tv and disconnect from the world

3. Fall in love…hard and passionately! Feel the butterflies inside the belly – Let it be wild!

4. Kiss in the rain; on a mountain; under sea water; at sunset; in the middle of the ocean; in a lift; in the middle of the road; at midnight under the full moon

5. Get an autograph from Enrique Iglesias

6. Euro Trip

7. Write and publish a book

8. Be a fully Qualified Chartered Accountant with an LLM

9. Leave office, head to the airport and take any flight

10. Migrate to another country

11. Get a two doors car

12. Swim with the dolphins

13. Get married!

14. Be a mentor to someone

15. Accomplish the pilgrimage to Mecca

16. Go on a holidays with my parents

17. Slap someone who deserves it really hard!

18. Start a side business

19. Run away from home to a party

20. Go on a road trip to an unknown place with someone I love

21. Make a song, album or video with friends

22. Smoke weed and cigar

23. Attend a pole dancing session

24. Go bungee jump

25. Visit at least three countries in Africa

26. Get an article published in a business magazine

27. Gift myself a sapphire necklace, ring and earrings

28. Learn Spanish!

29. Travel alone

30. Do something illegal without getting caught

31. Test drive my dream car

32. Visit a new place each month, take pictures and blog on it

33. Meditate – Get closer to the Almighty

The dangerous move…

2 Feb

“Sometimes, even the smallest little spark of a chemistry, the tiniest flicker of attraction not just physically but deep-down emotionally, is exciting. Comforting even. Feeling that way again is like seeing light in pitch black darkness, until you grasp how troubling it really is. It’s yet another confirmation that you aren’t in love with who you say you are, despite the countless hours trying to convince yourself and others. In the moment, it’s a way out. A person that seems so so amazing at first glance, so amazing that there can’t be anything wrong with him, seems like a perfect escape. You just fell in love with someone else—it could happen to anyone. But afterwards, you know what happened had nothing to do with love. You just chose to see what you wanted to see in a desperate attempt to get out of your trap, ultimately pushing yourself farther into it. This is a sign that something is very, very wrong with you. And it scares you to death.”

Too often we attempt to move on by shifting our feelings onto another person, transferring our emotional baggage into a new basket with the hope that it’ll hold. The problem with this approach is that we essentially leave a long, broken trail of loose ends, scattered unforgivingly behind us. Love is non-transferable, non-refundable, and unavoidable; you must walk through it, not around it…

“To move on from an experience we subconsciously require an ending point, a marker, some form of memorialization. And for a feeling to be memorialized, we must first give it a chance to live, breathe and be appreciated for what it truly is. After all, something cannot die without first being alive. So don’t repress it, don’t hold it down, don’t dismiss your love as a triviality of youth. Forego any feelings of resentment or floundering self-worth, for it pays you — and your heart — no service.”

Give yourself time to heal – jumping into another relationship with the hope that the other person will be your healer is the biggest mistake you can ever do.