Archive | May, 2013

Ode to You Star of my Life…

23 May

There was something which triggered me to come to see you at the hospital on that day, when I left work early.

I felt a strong need to come to see you.

The memories of you lying in the bed, with your eyes closed and you having problems breathing are still so fresh in my mind… And it pains the same each time I think about you.

It hurts when I think that it was the last time I got to see you; I wish I could see more of you.

I felt so helpless; there was nothing which I could do to help you get out of this pain.

I prayed for you whole night on that day, and I heard that you left us hours later.

You left without even giving me time to say a proper goodbye.

This morning I dreamt about you hugging me tight… How I wish I could hold you this way forever!

Why do I still feel that you had things to tell me?

Why do I still hold that feeling of something incomplete in my heart?

But you are now up, somewhere near God, in your rightful place…

But My heart still cries for you… A million times, I’ll need you

You were more like a dad to me, you were my friend, my guidance, my source of light, my happiness and I’m so proud of you for who you have been in life.

I know that you loved me more than words could describe.

It broke my heart to lose you

Things will never be the same

And although it hurts so bad

I will smile whenever I hear your name

I love you so much

Infinity and Beyond

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Falling out of…

5 May

It is the beginning of winter and she is trying to love him more. She wants to be part of his life, to share decisions he takes, to love him in the way he loves her. But Summer has not let go yet…

It would have been perfectly acceptable before to go through life in this cloudy facsimile of what life could actually be, unaware of a certain kind of summer love. How could she have known that the grass could be this Technicolor green, that morning coffee could be so deep and rich and sweet, that clouds could stand out so perfectly puffy-white against a sky too blue to look at? She wishes she didn’t know this summer world, that it wasn’t shown to her, because she can’t go back to the muted one she’s living now.

letting-go-of-a-relationship

She tries to concentrate on the things she loves about him. Like maybe his eyes or his hair. She realizes just how perfect he is and it’s still not enough somehow. She is still stuck here trying to figure out how to love him more and she wishes someone could just show her the answers in the back of the book so she wouldn’t feel so fucking defective all the time. But that’s not the way love works. You either got it or you don’t and she knows she doesn’t have it. Yet, she’s trying hard to care…

But life is not a game…

Disclaimer: The short stories on my blog do NOT reflect my life in any single way. The characters involved are entirely fictional and are just figments of my imagination.