She still thinks about him…

27 Mar

As she lies in bed, about to close her eyes and drift off to a far-away place , this is when she realises that it has now been a long time since she last saw him, touched him, whispered something in his ear.Though a huge part of their largely-silent, post acquaintanceship is based on the idea that neither of them have any interest in the other — that whatever happened between them is something entirely left in the past to wither and rot — she still thinks of him. She is not sure if that makes her the weak one in the equation (though she is alright with it if she is). It’s as though whatever existed before is now somehow erased from the mutual history of both, never to be acknowledged again — and that just feels ridiculous.

She wishes that reaching out to him wouldn’t be such an inappropriate step. In fact, it’s the whole “this requires a long, drawn-out explanation of why we’re talking again” thing that really confuses her — is she not allowed to ever consider his existence again? In almost every other aspect of her life, keeping tabs on things and remembering what was good is something to be praised, something that makes you an adult. Somehow, this is the exception.

What has he been doing? The things that he always talked about doing in that kind of dreamy, half-asleep lull of honesty — is he doing them?

Does he think about her? I know, it’s selfish, it’s childish. Nothing screams “immaturity” like wanting to catch up with someone only to shortly thereafter find out exactly what a small (or not at all) percentage of his life has to do with her still.

But in the interest of honesty, she does wonder…Sometimes, if he still does…!

I still think about you!

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