Archive | October, 2012

Living beyond your feelings!

23 Oct

This morning while having a cup of tea and having a discussion with my dad, I learnt from him that you can’t be held responsible for anybody’s feelings, you are responsible only for yours and your own actions.

“People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”  –Abraham Lincoln

The average person has 70,000 thoughts every day, and many of those thoughts trigger a corresponding emotion. No wonder so many of us often feel like we’re controlled by our emotions. Our lives would be much improved if we controlled them. Emotions, feelings… We have all felt it, at each step of our lives.

God gave us emotions on purpose. I believe our emotions play a vital role in living happy, healthy, successful lives. All emotions, from love and joy to anger and fear, have an important part to play in understanding ourselves and others. But this diversity of feelings is meant to complement our life, not determine it!

We need some emotion to motivate us, but it needs to be the right emotion at the right time applied in the right way. The more emotional we become, the stupider we become. This is because emotions want us to react blindly and physically rather than to think or be objective and rational. Being objective and rational when a lion was attacking wouldn’t have been great from an evolutionary point of view – because it would have slowed us down. But much of modern life needs measured calm thought rather than blind and sloppy emotional responses.

Knowing what emotion you are feeling is essential. Identifying the truth as to why you are feeling it means you are that much closer to doing something about it and to act upon it. No one can make you feel a certain emotion at any given moment. In just the same way, you can’t control the emotions another person feels. Taking responsibility for your emotions, and more importantly, not taking responsibility for anybody else’s is a step in ending unhappy relationship. Emotions are also determinants of your health state and the way you look. Cultivate your emotions and you’ll be healthy! 😉

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Marriage Madness!

15 Oct

The marriage madness is beginning in my expanded social circle. Apparently marriage is now The Thing To Do. Just about every week I log onto facebook, and someone on my friends list is posting that they’re engaged, posting pictures from their wedding, or posting pictures from someone else’s wedding in our age / peer group. This has just started happening in past year. Previously I had a couple of engaged and married friends, but they were both people I’d always known would marry young for various reasons. Now it seems like most people are getting married or are waiting with baited breath for an engagement to happen.

I’m genuinely happy for everyone who is getting married to someone they love. I just feel out of the loop because for various reasons I just don’t feel ready to get married. I know that I’m in the age bracket, but I have never really imagined me in any white dress. I feel so out of sync with the majority of my peers. But, I know that this step shall come soon – and maybe will take me by surprise.  I just don’t want to even think about it. I think am Gamophobia (Well, not totally)!!

Nowadays, many people, especially young women (even men, not to say small immature boys) in their early twenties, are getting married just for the sake of doing it or maybe they think it is the next most appropriate step to take in their life plan. Unfortunately, I’ve seen many marriages broken after some years, not to say months. They got distracted by the glitz and the glamour of dress shopping, flower picking, cake tasting and photo taking, never stopping to realize that maybe, just maybe, they really aren’t ready for this huge milestone. I’ve never been hasty in decisions I take in life and I believe that the day I’ll take this lifetime decision, I’ll stick to it.

One thing I’ve learnt is that it’s not a wedding that gives you the love of your life. Whether your goal is a diamond ring with a big fat wedding (which I believe is a total waste of money, time and energy) or to simply find your soul mate, be happy with your choice no matter what’s happening around you. You bring about what you think about.