Archive | February, 2009

Handling My LDR…

13 Feb

Being in a long distance relationship isn’t easy. It requires very strong trust, commitment, guidelines, communication and bla bla bla. From what I heard is that majority of people in long distance relationships eventually break up. That’s why you see so many “experts” proclaim that long distance relationships are a bad idea and don’t work. Yet if you learn to master communication and set the parameters of your relationship, it can work. It’s an uphill battle, but it is possible…(uh is it really?) I have been in a long distance relationship since 5months now… and all i can say is that i have been through lots of ups…n even more downs. But i don’t regret a single moment, because everything is just wonderful *during good times* 😛
Strong trust… yeah!! You really have to trust that person a lot… You are here…and he is there with lots of creatures around. (while writing this part, i recalled the part of the film ‘Anaconda: the search for the blood orchid”  when the actress kadee strickland was asked to pick up the orchids and just below were a pool full of anacondas). So everyone is in the same situation, facing a pool of anacondas everyday, anytime they can be caught in between their jaws and become victims… so you cant really predict what can really happen. They say if you are sincere, or you don’t usually get tempted you may overcome being victims, but it is not always true! You cant prevent yourself from being attracted to some beautiful face or…other things nah 😛

Commitment: I guess if you really commit yourself to someone..*Corps et ame* u may prevent yourself from all kinds of temptations! I mean if you both really know what you really want from your relationship and you believe fully in it then only you can commit. You can’t commit to someone if you have doubts or are uncertain about the future. So don’t promise anything to anyone unless you are really sure of what you really want. Its all in your mind and your heart! So listen to both…

Communication: This is the most important aspect of any kind of relationship…The key to making long-distance relationships work is to talk honestly and openly about how you feel. I’m sure many of those who are in a LDR, often fall into one of the following traps:

Let’s pretend it’s OK – if asked how you are, you both say “I’m OK, everything’s fine.” Underneath you’re both lonely, but are too scared to say in case the other person doesn’t understand.

It’s all right for you – you try to be nice when you talk, but the resentment slips out. You’re both convinced your partner’s having an easier time of it than you. Underneath you both want reassurance, but fear you’ll be rejected

(Is this some kinda ego problem…?? *Duh*)

Be honest

Share your feelings about the separation – both the positives and the negatives. This will give you the opportunity to really understand each other and give the support and reassurance you both need.

Another major thing is to establish the relationship rules and parameters.

It is vital that you and your partner set rules and parameters to guide your long distance relationship. This includes an agreement that you will not date others, that you will communicate daily.

I should start making my list. I have personally not set any kind of rules or parameters. I left him doing things he wants to do…let him completely free, thinking that most probably he is conscious and fully aware of his limits, what he is supposed to do and what not! com’on every1 knows that! I live by the philosophy that “I will fully trust a person until they give me a reason not to”. And most prolly that will be the end of everything…I don’t really forgive. 😦 and if one’s trust is broken, trusting that person again and making as if nothing has changed *when everything has* will be lying and deceiving oneself.

…& finally it’s not passion that ends long distance love, but usually plain loss of common interests.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder ?? – or so the saying goes..

Happy…Valentine Day to All Lovers

13 Feb

Hello blog and all those who drop in from time to time…

Wish you all a HaPpY VaLeNt|nE DaY. Even though this day is considered to many as a commercial day, I’m sure despite this it still represents a special day to all you couples…who are in love.  Also on this day, you will be meeting the one you love…and spend the day with her/him.

But…i don’t feel the same. Despite being in a relationship, this valentine day holds no special meaning for me. I just can’t explain why… I really wish it would have been a special day, even though i can’t meet him, even though we are far apart… Unfortunately it is not…! The sight of those colorful teddies, hearts, flowers makes me sick! I get this feeling I can’t explain…

What is Love? Love is sharing, caring, being there for him/her, laughing together, sharing dreams, sharing moments, dancing in the rain, gazing into each other eyes, feel something wonderful deep inside when you see your other half, Love is an adventure, Love is holding hands, Love is forgiveness… I’ll stop here!

Damn love!!

HappY val’s day!! EnjoyZ!

Sometimes she forgets…

If you see her out tonight
And she tells you it’s just the lights
That bring her here and not her loneliness
That’s what she says but sometimes she forgets
If she tells you she don’t need a man
She’s had all the comfort she can stand

You’d best believe every word she says
But don’t give up ’cause sometimes she forgets
Sometimes she forgets that not too long ago she swore
She wasn’t gonna let her heart be broken anymore
So now she keeps it locked away
It grows colder every day
And it won’t warm to any man’s caress
That’s what she says but sometimes she forgets
Sometimes she forgets that not too long ago she swore
She wasn’t gonna let her heart be broken anymore
Hey now don’t give up ’cause sometimes she forgets